17A – Elevator Pitch No. 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWw8-i3x1TI

A reflection on the feedback you received from your last pitch I enjoyed reading all of the positive feedback from my first elevator pitch and I wanted to keep everything that was liked and only slightly change it. So, I tried to keep the passion in my voice and to talk smoothly as I had before. Some of the criticisms that struck out to me was the positioning of my camera, the initial pitch, and one self criticism that I had for myself was that I lacked a hook.

What did you change, based on the feedback? Based on the feedback, I changed the positioning of my camera. It still isn't perfect since the configuration of my room doesn't allow me much space to have a clear background with no objects. To fix my own criticism I added a hook in the beginning by applying it to the audience. Lastly, to fix the initial pitch I tried to gear more towards the audience and also show how eating at a restaurant that provides this service can actually be good for the economy, so that way it brings some ethos into the situation.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 20, 2017 at 6:01 AM

    Hi Elizabeth! I thought that you did an awesome job on your second elevator pitch. I think you did a great job with your pitch introduction. I really like that you used strong words in your pitch like "eliminate"; I think that helped show passion for the topic. I also liked your closing statement; it was short, catchy, and meaningful. Great job with incorporating your feedback into your new pitch!

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  2. UnknownOctober 20, 2017 at 5:25 PM

    Hey Elizabeth, another great Elevator pitch. I struggled with my second elevator pitch because I felt like I was saying the same thing just in different clothes. Also, all of the criticism I received was about the business idea and not about the way that I presented it in the elevator pitch video. I hope that the elevator pitch that I did this week is better than the last one that I recorded.

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  3. UnknownOctober 22, 2017 at 7:46 PM

    Elizabeth, I agree that sometimes it is hard to get the camera angle correct and still have blank wall space I ran into the same problem. So I can definitely tell how passionate you are about the service by the way you speak upon the subject, but I think you could just add a little more confidence to your pitch and it would grasp viewers even more.

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